


Take My Hand (My Whole Life Too)

by pastmydancingdays



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Amok Time, Episode: s02e05 Amok Time, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Get Together, M/M, Making Love, T'hy'la, insecure spock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-15
Updated: 2015-09-15
Packaged: 2018-04-20 22:24:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4804433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastmydancingdays/pseuds/pastmydancingdays
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Whilst in one of the most dangerous situations of his life, Jim Kirk came to a realisation that he should have had a very long time ago. Two, in fact, and he was about to let neither go to waste. A potential epilogue to Amok Time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Take My Hand (My Whole Life Too)

**Author's Note:**

> My very first TOS K/S fic, in honour of K/S Day. Hope you enjoy!

As was appropriate for near-death situations, when laid out on the red hot sands of Vulcan, the hard ridge of Spock’s erection rubbing relentlessly against his thigh, Jim Kirk had an epiphany. Two, actually, but he wasn’t exactly counting as Spock loomed over him with wet, agonised eyes, the challenge that T’Pring had issued forcing him to attempt to end Jim’s life. The first realisation that Jim came to, struggling fruitlessly against Spock’s far superior strength, was that Spock almost certainly had feelings for him. A strange conclusion to come to, perhaps, when his First was strangling him, but Jim knew that Spock would rather die than hurt him, and had risked his life on missions countless times in an attempt to save his own.

He was often perceived to be emotionless – which irritated Jim no end – but he had seen those secret half-smiles that Spock cast at him over a chessboard, the lingering glances over his sweat-slick body after a sparring session, and though he had been blind so it for so long, the veiled misery when Spock had seen him with another. Jim was as guilty as Spock was on all of those fronts, and his idle ruminations about being with him had only become stronger and more frequent over time. Now, as the ahn-woon tightened around his throat, and Spock’s desperate expression matched the rutting against his crotch, Jim felt only sorrow that Spock would have to suffer even for a moment, convinced that he had killed his Captain. As Bones’ neural paralyser began to take hold, and Jim sank into a deeper unconsciousness than he had ever known, his final thought was that he almost certainly loved Spock too.

He emerged from his ‘death’ in increments, his senses returning to him one by one, and he groaned when he had the voice to do so, his head pounding.

‘Don’t you even think about tryin’ to get up,’ he heard, as he drew his elbows up beneath him. ‘The ship won’t fall apart for a few minutes without you.’

‘Bones?’ he whispered, squinting against the bright lights of Sickbay.

Thankfully, the lights dimmed, and when Jim opened his eyes wider in the relative comfort of the half-light, Bones was standing over him. He had a buoyant smile and a loaded hypospray, which he promptly depressed into Jim’s neck.

‘What was that for?’ Jim grimaced, before remembering exactly who had put him in that position. Forcing himself upright, which sent an immediate wave of dizziness over him, he raised frantic eyes to Bones’. ‘Spock! Is he alright?’

‘It’s a stimulant, to get your body goin’ again. And Spock’s fine, don’t you worry. Except – well – he doesn’t know you’re alive yet.’

_‘What?’_ Jim cried, attempting to lever himself off the biobed, but in spite of the stimulant, his legs still felt frustratingly weak.

‘I haven’t seen him yet,’ Bones replied, a hand on his shoulder to steady him as he slumped back down onto it. ‘We’re still in orbit around Vulcan, and we can’t let T’Pau know that you’re alive. Just stay there a minute, and I’ll call him down, alright?’

Jim acquiesced, even if he felt like rushing to the bridge and putting Spock out of his misery straight away. That would defeat the whole purpose of Bones’ ruse, and God knew what terrible thing tradition would require Spock to do next. Sitting up with his legs over the side of the bed while waiting for the vertigo to disappear, his heart clenched as he considered how Spock must be feeling right now. Rejected by his betrothed, even if he hadn’t wanted her either, and leaving the fires of pon farr only to discover that in the madness of it all, he had murdered Jim. He could only imagine how terrible he would feel if it were the other way round.

No. Enough.

He couldn’t sit here any longer and let Spock think that he was dead. Rising slowly from the bed, he made sure that he could stand upright without wobbling before making his way over to the door. His head swam, and it took a little while for him to focus, but when he did, he heard Spock’s grave voice interrupt Bones’ attempts at explaining.

‘Doctor, please, let me finish. There can be no excuse for the crime of which I'm guilty.’

Though many would not have noticed, Jim could hear the edge of misery in his tone, and it hurt.

‘I intend to offer no defence. Furthermore, I shall order Mister Scott to take immediate command of this vessel.’

‘Don’t you think you’d better check with me first?’ Jim asked quietly, an anticipatory smile on his lips.

‘Captain!’ Spock whirled around, and as Jim skirted around him with a laugh, he stared in amazement. _‘Jim!’_

Jim’s breath caught as Spock seized his biceps and swung him round in joyful surprise, but what really made his heart swell was the smile that spread across Spock’s face, for once, true and unguarded. It quickly disappeared when he noticed Bones and Nurse Chapel, but Jim was neither surprised, nor displeased. Spock’s smile inspired within him a sort of covetous feeling – not possessive, exactly, but he knew a rare and precious thing when he saw it, and naked emotion on the face of his First was certainly that. Spock’s hands dropped, his expression gaining some of its previous neutrality, and he tugged quickly on his uniform shirt, which Jim couldn’t help but find adorable.

‘I’m… pleased… to see you, Captain. You seem… uninjured. I am at something of a loss to understand it, however.’

As he explained his miraculous revival, and Spock and Bones resumed their habitual gentle banter, Jim was focused entirely on his First. Spock’s eyes slipped so often back to him, as if to reassure himself of Jim’s presence, and Jim could hardly bear waiting a moment longer to speak with him regarding his feelings. Uncommonly nervous though the thought made him, he had resolved to do so the moment he had seen that beautiful smile emerge, so short-lived, but fantastically bright. As usual, however, they had their duties to attend to first.

Jim loved his job, and never more so than when the Enterprise was heading into the unknown, sending them into the kind of adventures that children only dreamed of, but his crew were able to live out. On this particular occasion though, he was rather eager for his shift to end. When the customary formalities were over with, and the ship was travelling away from Vulcan, there was little for Jim to do but complete reports, which he worked on in his chair, squinting slightly as the words on the padd blurred. Spock worked as efficiently as ever at his station, and in between the reams of paperwork, Jim found himself staring longingly at his back, admiring the long, sleek lines of his body, and his shapely backside as he leant over the scanner. It was completely inappropriate – he knew that – but if Spock agreed to be with him, hopefully he would have the opportunity to look his fill in their quarters. Preferably with fewer clothes on.

Jim was not a man given to daydreaming, but as the shift wore uneventfully on, he couldn’t help but imagine the way Spock would kiss. Would he be nervous, and let Jim take the lead, his inexperience making him hesitant? Or would his almost universal prowess and confidence in his abilities win out? Staring at the elegant arc of Spock’s neck, Jim wondered about the body hidden beneath those layers of clothes. Although he had seen Spock shirtless before, and very occasionally, the odd glimpse of bare legs in Sickbay, his mouth watered as he considered how he would look nude, stretched out across Jim’s bed. Would he cry out as they made love? Jim hoped so, but he couldn’t think of anything that would put him off, or disappoint him. Of course, Spock might not even want him. The thought of rejection sent cold dread seeping into his stomach, a shiver rattling up his spine until he was forced to express it outwardly.

‘Are you well, Captain?’

The dread evaporated, replaced by a warm pulse of pleasure as Spock addressed him, having approached his chair whilst Jim was lost in thought. He turned to his First with a smile he knew had weakened knees, making unblinking contact with soft brown eyes.

‘I’m fine, Mister Spock,’ he murmured, thickening his tone to something bordering on seductive as he rested his hand a mere inch away from the fine-boned one on his chair. ‘Have you any plans for this evening?’

‘I require time for meditation, then I had planned to go to Laboratory One.’ Spock hesitated, head tilting. ‘Unless you are in need of me, Captain?’

_Oh yes, Spock, I’m in need of you._

‘I was hoping that you’d join me for dinner in my quarters, but if you’re busy…’

‘The experiment is not urgent,’ Spock replied, just as Jim had hoped he would. ‘I will meet you in your quarters at 2000 hours, if that is agreeable.’

‘Perfect, Mister Spock,’ Jim smiled, taking the padd from his hand and signing it with a flourish.

Alpha shift soon ended, and Jim blitzed the remainder of the paperwork in his room, determined not to leave any for later – he had plans for later. He had been worried about the wait, but the sheer amount of red tape he had to get through kept him busy right up until 1945, at which point he had a quick sonic shower, and dressed in a clean uniform. He was just in time too, because it appeared that Spock was a few minutes early. He hadn’t had time to be anxious before, but as the door chimed, panic consumed him entirely.

‘Come in!’ he called, his voice rather more steady than his nerves.

As Spock entered, as calm and stoic as usual, Jim was consumed by an irrepressible fondness. For a moment, he could only stare, so full of love he could barely contain it. When Spock raised an eyebrow, he snapped out of it, ushering him towards the table he had cleared for them earlier.

‘Sorry, Spock. I’m… distracted today. Did your meditation go well?’

‘Yes, Jim,’ Spock replied, sitting in the chair he was guided towards while Jim approached the replicator. ‘I am much more centred than before. Have you enjoyed your rest period?’

‘Oh, I’ve been doing paperwork for the past few hours. What would you like for dinner?’

‘Farr-kahli, please,’ Spock requested, leaning back slightly as Jim placed the steaming plate before him. ‘I assume you wish to speak with me regarding the events of today.’

Having chosen penne al pomodoro for himself, Jim sat across the table, feeling slightly off his food.

‘Well, that _is_ part of it, but I do have something else I want to discuss with you. Is there anything you want to offload? To tell me about?’

He forced a few bites of his pasta down as Spock considered, eating his own dish at a considerably slower pace.

‘I… expected that T’Pring would wish to bond with another,’ Spock said eventually, spine ramrod straight. ‘However, I had not anticipated a challenge, and certainly not your inclusion in the kal-i-fee. I am sorry, Jim. I could easily have killed you.’

He looked so miserable, fork trailing in his food, that Jim itched to take his hand. Instead, he shifted his own forward until their fingertips were almost in contact, giving Spock an understanding smile.

‘It’s alright; you weren’t to know. And Spock?’ Jim waited until Spock was looking at him before he continued, feeling somewhat like his yearning was plain on his face. ‘If you _had_ killed me, I want you to know that I wouldn’t have blamed you for it at all. It was out of your control. If I had died on Vulcan, Spock, it wouldn’t have been your fault.’

He made eye contact for a long moment, before Spock broke it with a murmur of his name, clearly overwhelmed.

‘Did you want to bond with T’Pring?’

‘My desires were irrelevant,’ Spock said softly, and Jim’s stomach plummeted.

‘So you did,’ he whispered, coldness enveloping him despite the unaltered temperature. ‘Sorry, I-’

‘No, Jim. I did not. She preferred Stonn as a potential bondmate, and I am perfectly content to be without her.’

Heart racing, Jim dropped his fork into the remainder of his meal. Spock’s eyes flicked to the pasta, then back to his, unreadable.

‘Was she the only person you could have bonded with?’ he asked, daring to hope. ‘Or could you have bonded with anyone? Does gender matter, or species?’

‘Neither makes any true difference, so long as a partner is compatible,’ Spock answered slowly, pushing his own meal away. ‘However, I was betrothed to T’Pring, and thus, tradition required me to return to Vulcan.’

Jim licked his dry lips, seeing Spock’s eyes follow his tongue with bubbling excitement. He and Spock seemed certainly to be mentally compatible, if one considered the melds they had engaged in for duty purposes, and physically... well, Jim was sure that he could wring some pleasure out of him at least.

‘And what if there were a compatible partner for you on board?’

Spock held his gaze for so long that Jim could feel his face heating, but he seemed to lose his confidence all of a sudden, his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed, looking away.

‘I would not tie another unwillingly to myself.’ Spock’s voice was barely audible, the faintest hint of shame colouring his tone. ‘Vulcan bonds are not what many humans would wish for. They can be confining. Invasive. And yet, I would not engage in a casual relationship, as humans often do. If I had the choice, I would prefer to bond with a partner who desired to commit to me, but that is not something I expect to happen in the future.’

‘Why not?’ Jim asked, his hand shifting minutely closer.

Spock stared at the table, his expression resigned and shoulders stiff.

‘I am unaccustomed to being desired. My people spurn me for my genetic makeup; they consider me overemotional, whilst most humans consider me emotionless. The few humans that have previously shown interest in me have done so out of lust or obsession, neither of which should be a basis for a bond. I am too Vulcan, too human, and yet not enough for a bondmate of either race.’

Simultaneously saddened and hopeful, Jim leant even closer, sweating with nerves.

‘What if someone is compatible, _and_ desires you? What if there’s someone here who thinks you’re perfect exactly as you are?’

Before he could back out, before he could consider that he might be ruining a wonderful friendship and a strong command team, Jim reached forward with two fingers and pressed them gently against those of Spock’s upturned hand.

‘Vulcans kiss with their hands, don’t they?’

_‘Jim,’_ Spock breathed, wide-eyed, his free hand clutching at the table edge.

‘If- if you don’t want this, just say the word and I’ll back off,’ Jim rasped, forcing his hand to remain still. ‘I swear, I’ll never mention it again. But, if you do…’

Jim closed his eyes, reopening them once he’d regained his nerve.

‘I love you,’ he said softly, aware of how huge of a risk he was taking. Spock seemed to be frozen, a flush spreading across his cheeks and the tips of those gorgeous ears. ‘I’ve wanted you for such a long time, but I didn’t realise quite what I felt until I saw your face during the kal-i-fee.’

‘I sated myself upon your body whilst I was strangling you,’ Spock croaked, visibly trembling. ‘You might have died today by my hand, a victim of my bloodlust.’

‘But I didn’t,’ Jim said gently, trailing the pads of his fingers from Spock’s palm to his fingertips, ‘and next time we can weather it together. Spock, I want to bond with you. I love you.’

There was a long silence, during which Jim’s heart sank, hope fading.

‘And I you, Jim.’

The words were released with a shuddering sigh as Spock finally reacted, his fingers stroking languidly over and against Jim’s, that lovely flush deepening. Breathless with joy, Jim reciprocated enthusiastically, pleased that Spock seemed to be getting some pleasure out of it. His bowed lips were parted, his free hand clutching white-knuckled at the table as their fingers pressed harder together, and Jim’s desire for more reached a tipping point.

‘Come here,’ he begged, lacing their fingers together and tugging gently as he stood. Spock stumbled a little as he rounded the table, but then they were stood within inches of one another, breathing hard. Cupping Spock’s cheek with a calloused hand, Jim noticed the nervousness in his eyes, and felt a rush of tenderness. ‘May I kiss you? The human way, I mean?’

Spock nodded, apparently lost for words, and Jim leant forward slowly, not wanting to frighten him as he carefully brushed their lips together, a throaty moan leaving him at the first exquisite touch. Spock’s lips were soft and cool, and Jim slid his hand round to card through the silky hair at his nape as he pressed gentle kisses against them, pulling away after a few moments to gauge his reaction. There was a healthy flush on Spock’s cheeks, and his eyes remained closed for a moment after they parted, as if savouring the moment.

‘Jim,’ he murmured, his voice beautifully deep. ‘I-I feel… I need…’

He flushed darker, and as Jim slid a hand down his back, drawing him closer, he felt a bulge press up against his own swelling cock. Even though he had previously felt it during the kal-i-fee, knowing that Spock was willingly becoming aroused for him was a heady feeling.

‘It’s alright, sweetheart,’ he said tenderly, splaying his hand across Spock’s lower back. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll look after you.’

He kissed him again, this time sliding his tongue against Spock’s lower lip until he was allowed entrance, exploring the soft, wet recesses of his mouth with pleasured disbelief. He tasted nothing like what Jim had imagined, but wonderful all the same, and as Jim lovingly stroked his tongue with his own, Spock timidly reciprocated, growing in confidence and skill until Jim’s trousers were becoming decidedly uncomfortable. Pulling away to force a ragged breath into his lungs, he squeezed the fingers that were still laced with his.

‘What do you want, Spock?’

‘I do not know,’ Spock said unsteadily, a rather prominent erection pressed against Jim’s hip.

Jim smiled fondly, sliding the hand on his back around to his stomach, then over his chest.

‘I would very much like to make love to you,’ he admitted, ‘but if that’s something you’re not ready for, I totally understand.’

Spock’s hand twitched within his, and his cheeks darkened further as Jim thumbed over one clothed nipple.

‘I would like that also, but I have no previous experience. I do not wish to disappoint you.’

‘You could never disappoint me, Spock,’ Jim soothed, kissing him chastely. As he pulled back, he removed his uniform shirt and the undershirt beneath it, baring his chest to Spock’s hungry gaze. ‘May I undress you?’

Spock nodded, and obediently raised his arms so that Jim could bare him to the waist, revealing the flat stomach and thick chest hair that Jim had so often thought about. Unable to help himself, his hands went straight to it, finding it a lot softer and sleeker than expected, much like the hair atop Spock’s head.

‘Beautiful,’ Jim murmured, leaning forwards to press a series of sloppy kisses against Spock’s neck, and felt the skin beneath his lips reverberate as Spock let out a shaky gasp. Dropping his own trousers, he stepped out of them and kicked them away carelessly, waiting for verbal approval before removing Spock’s. The fabric fell to reveal long, pale legs, along with Starfleet-issue underwear, which was tented with Spock’s arousal. Jim’s cock pulsed at the splendour of him, even as Spock blushed, avoiding his gaze. ‘You’re beautiful, sweetheart. Absolutely beautiful.’

‘You are more so,’ Spock argued, trailing a cool hand down his chest and across his stomach.

‘No, you are,’ Jim said playfully, kissing away his response, then grasped both of his hands in a loose grip. ‘Bed?’

Spock nodded, and Jim led him around the partition towards it, divesting them both of their socks as he lay Spock down upon it, holding himself up over him.

‘I don’t think I’ve ever wanted someone so much in my life. I certainly haven’t loved anyone else so much.’

‘Nor I,’ Spock replied, squirming open-mouthed beneath Jim as he kissed and licked his way from jaw to collarbone. ‘Jim, ashayam, _please.’_

Jim briefly wondered what that word meant, but then he was distracted by the sight of Spock’s hard nipples, barely visible beneath the thick covering of chest hair. Spock moaned quietly as he sealed his lips around the left and began to suck, determined to have him out of his mind with pleasure by the end of the night. Interspersing soft, slow suckling with quick flicks of his tongue, by the time he pulled away, and both nipples were swollen and wet from his attentions, Spock was panting with arousal.

_‘Jim,’_ he choked, pulling impatiently at his underwear.

‘Alright, love,’ he laughed, obediently stripping off. ‘Yours too?’

Spock nodded distractedly, the same gaze that Jim had seen affixed countless times on new and exciting scientific discoveries now directed at his cock. One pale, elegant hand curled around it and tugged cautiously, and Jim moaned, all but tearing Spock’s underwear from him.

‘That’s good, Spock,’ he panted, rocking his hips into that delicious grip. ‘Hold on a minute. Let me look at you.’

Spock closed his eyes as Jim surveyed his newly-revealed erection. Thinner than his, it was impressively long, with a second ridge beneath that which was seen in a human, and flushed a dark green at the head. Spock shuddered as Jim traced the second ridge with a gentle finger, noticing with a jolt of arousal the wetness seeping relentlessly from the slit, much more than he could ever produce, pooling in the cradle of Spock’s hips. This surpassed even the most arousing of Jim’s imaginations, and with a lingering kiss to the place where Spock’s hip and thigh met, he wrapped a hand around that gorgeous cock and stroked. With a fevered cry, Spock bucked up once, twice, three times, coming messily over Jim’s hand and his own heaving stomach. Grinding his own straining erection into the bed, Jim stroked him through it, wringing every last drop from his slit before leaning forwards to kiss him through the afterglow.

‘Good?’ he asked, pulling away when Spock’s hazy eyes opened.

‘Very. I apologise for my… rapidity.’

Jim chuckled, stroking two fingers down his cheek.

‘I wouldn’t worry about it. You look beautiful when you come. Mind you, you look beautiful all the time, so- Oh, wow.’

Spock’s erection had returned so quickly, it was almost as if he hadn’t come in the first place. Jim dragged his finger through the mixture of semen and natural lubrication on Spock’s flat stomach and slipped it into his mouth, finding it much sweeter than expected. Yes, he could get used to this.

‘Vulcans have no refractory period.’

‘That’s… interesting,’ Jim said, already imagining the possibilities. Spock gasped as he took hold of his cock once more, leaning down to ghost a breath over the leaking head. ‘I want to take you into my mouth.’

_‘Yes,’_ Spock moaned, tangling a hand in his hair as Jim did just that, lapping at the tip of his cock.

Conscious of his own limits, Jim looked up at Spock as he rubbed his tongue gently over and between the ridges, enjoying the sight of Spock’s blown pupils and heaving chest as he threw his head back and panted. He was much more vocal than Jim had expected, soft moans and breathy murmurs of Jim’s name escaping him with every ragged exhalation, which only added to Jim’s growing arousal. After a final soft suck, Jim pulled back and surveyed the whole, pliant length of him with definite approval from his cock.

‘Are you alright, my love?’ he asked fondly, opening his legs a little wider to take the pressure from it.

Spock nodded, licking his already shining lower lip, colour high in his cheeks. Stroking the insides of his thighs, Jim bent to suck a lovebite into the tender, pale skin.

‘Mind if I try something?’ he murmured, kissing the greening mark. ‘If you don’t like it, just tell me and I’ll stop.’

‘Yes, Jim,’ Spock said breathily, his eyes widening as Jim lapped over his sac, then continued to descend. ‘Jim, what are you- _ah!’_

With a wicked smile, Jim held him open with his thumbs and dragged his tongue over his twitching hole, surprised by, but relishing in, Spock’s very vocal reaction.

‘Oh! Oh, _Jim!’_

As Jim licked slowly into him, Spock’s hand fell heavy to the bed, and he clutched at the duvet with a grip so forceful that Jim thought for a moment that the fabric might rip. It survived until Jim speared his tongue and pressed in, loosening the muscle by moving his tongue as if it were his cock, at which point Spock tore a hole in it. He really couldn’t have cared less.

‘Jim,’ Spock whimpered, and for a moment, Jim thought he might come from hearing the desperate pleasure in that voice, the tone so unlike anything he had ever heard from him.

Pressing his leaking cock into the bed, he redoubled his efforts until the space between Spock’s harsh breaths was filled with soft whines, hips rocking back into his face. He tore his mouth away long enough to blurt ‘Touch yourself for me’, then got right back to it, aching a little from the effort. He could hear Spock’s soft cries and the slick sound of him stroking his own cock for only a few seconds more before Spock’s hole fluttered around his tongue, a deep groan following almost immediately. Jim worked him for a little while longer, but withdrew in time to see him milk the final few drops of semen from his cock, face contorted in pleasure. Then he dropped back to the bed, exhausted, and Jim rose to kiss him, heedless of what his mouth had just been doing. Eyes closed, he didn’t see Spock reach out, but he certainly felt a hand wrap tightly around his cock, threatening to undo the final thread of his control.

‘Spock, wait,’ he panted, and Spock withdrew his hand immediately, wounded expression quickly concealed. ‘No, no, you’ve done nothing wrong, I just didn’t want to come yet.’

‘But I have done so twice already.’

‘I know. I enjoyed seeing it,’ Jim grinned, watching him flush anew with a frisson of pleasure. ‘I was just wondering if you wanted to go any further. If not, that’s fine, don’t worry.’

He took Spock’s hand and played with his fingers as he considered, bringing it to his lips to trail kisses over his knuckles.

‘Would _you_ like to?’ Spock asked quietly, his breath hitching as Jim sucked on the tip of his index finger.

‘I would,’ Jim replied honestly, ‘but I would never want you just to acquiesce. If we make love in that way, it will be because you want it, not because you think I do.’

He was undaunted to see that Spock’s erection had returned once more, but surprised that it had taken so little stimulation, despite his inexperience.

‘Your hands are sensitive,’ he concluded, a smile spreading slowly over his face as he massaged Spock’s palm with his thumbs, and saw him squirm with pleasure.

‘Very,’ Spock breathed, sliding his free hand up Jim’s arm to his shoulder, pulling him down. ‘Jim, I would like to- I want-’

He struggled to finish, and Jim took pity on him, pressing a firm kiss into his palm before leaning down to kiss him properly.

‘Alright, sweetheart,’ he murmured against his lips, groaning as he moved so that their erections came into alignment. The delicious contact reminded him of quite how aroused he was, having patiently brought Spock to climax twice already, and now going for the hat trick. Addictive though his mouth certainly was, Jim released it, leaning over to the bedside table to take out the bottle of lubricant he knew was there. Once retrieved, he knelt between Spock’s legs, grabbing a pillow to put beneath his hips.

‘Are you sure, Spock?’

‘Yes,’ Spock whispered, holding out two fingers.

Jim first touched them with his own, then brought them to his lips as he coated his fingers, encouraging him to open his legs wider. He took the time to prepare Spock thoroughly, fingering him until his legs were trembling and he cried out weakly with every swipe against his prostate. He looked stunning laid out beneath him, and Jim loved him fiercely, kissing every inch of his body within reach as he worked his fingers in and out, gentle and slow.

‘I am ready,’ Spock gasped, for what must have been the third time. ‘I have been for quite some time. Now, James.’

His own patience waning, Jim slipped his fingers out, but when he reached for the lubricant, Spock had already got there. Jim moaned as he slicked his neglected cock, the wet, cool grip a welcome intervention.

‘Impatient, Mister Spock?’ he laughed breathlessly, sobering when Spock released him, and he pressed the head of his aching cock up against him. ‘You ready?’

‘Yes, Jim,’ Spock ground out, pushing his hips up.

Supporting himself on his forearms, Jim leant over him as he slowly pushed in, the exquisite pressure forcing a long moan from his lips. He watched Spock’s face carefully for signs of pain, and as he sank in to the hilt, he dropped a soft kiss onto his lips.

‘Are you alright?’

‘There is minimal discomfort,’ Spock told him, a little breathless. ‘You were extremely thorough.’

‘Good,’ Jim smiled, shifting slightly. ‘I love you, you know.’

‘Yes, Jim. I love you also.’

Riding the emotional high as much as the physical, Jim kissed him once more before slowly beginning to rock his hips, the tight heat around him glorious.

‘You feel so good,’ he choked, daring to push in a little deeper, and judging by Spock’s soft gasp, that was pretty well received.

‘Move, Jim,’ Spock demanded, sliding his hands over the shifting muscles in Jim’s back.

Jim complied immediately, driving forward a little harder with each thrust, angling his hips until Spock cried out.

‘There we are,’ he breathed, triumphant, Spock’s exquisite tightness sending sparks of pleasure radiating up his spine.

Spock clutched at him as he moved relentlessly against his prostate, little gasps and shaky moans leaving him, a deep flush on his cheeks and spreading to his ears. Jim knew he wouldn’t last very long, not with the Vulcan he loved writhing beneath him, and the glorious squeezing around his cock as Spock contracted his muscles, but he could hurry Spock along. After releasing the point of one tempting ear from his mouth, he leant down and kissed Spock deeply, swallowing the moan that escaped as he reached for his erection.

_‘Jim,’_ Spock groaned, as he tore his lips away. One of his hands hovered at the side of Jim’s face. ‘Ashayam, please, may I..?’

‘Yes,’ Jim hissed, feeling heat begin to coil in the base of his stomach, his cock hypersensitive as Spock’s inner walls tightened around him. ‘Yes, Spock, do it.’

Pressing his fingers against Jim’s heated skin, Spock muttered an inaudible string of Vulcan, and then they were falling together, minds merging exquisitely. Jim could feel Spock tight around him, but also Spock driving into him, and his prostate throbbed as if he were the one being penetrated, both he inside Spock and Spock inside him, the ecstasy doubling. When he regained a semblance of physical awareness, Jim realised just how close he was by the throbbing in his balls, aching in pleasure. Spock was moaning relentlessly, slippery cock twitching in Jim’s hand, and Jim worked him ever faster, desperate. As he hammered against his prostate, thumb passing over his dripping slit, Spock’s blown pupils focused on him, and with a strangled shout of Jim’s name, came in long, hot spurts against his stomach. Jim felt his balls begin to draw up, and when Spock pinched his nipple, he followed him into orgasm with a cry.

Panting harshly, Jim collapsed against Spock, murmuring his name into his skin as he peppered kisses across it. Spock’s fingers combed through his hair, and Jim smiled against his chest, feeling only overwhelming joy in the aftermath of their lovemaking.

‘How are you feeling?’ he asked, lifting his head.

Spock’s expression was as close to blissful as he had ever seen it, soft and open, his lips swollen from the kisses they had shared.

‘Contented. Jim, do you really wish to bond with me?’

‘Yes, of course,’ Jim replied, pulling out gently and rolling onto his side. ‘I won’t be a minute.’

He slipped out of bed and walked naked to the fresher, grabbing a towel and wetting a cloth to clean them both up, dealing with himself quickly before returning to the bedroom. Spock was still lying down, but he looked a little more apprehensive than before. Smiling, Jim cleaned him up as gently and thoroughly as possible, before wrapping the cloth up in the towel and throwing it into the laundry chute.

‘What are you thinking?’

Spock hesitated for a moment as Jim lay back down, then spoke.

‘Bonding is unlike human marriage. Although one might have a bonding ceremony, there is no need for a physical ceremony, nor an officiator. That is merely for tradition’s sake. A marriage bond may be initiated by a Vulcan at any point, although doing so during sexual intercourse is generally accepted to be the simplest way of doing so. Jim, I mentioned compatibility to you before?’

‘You did.’

‘You and I are more compatible than most,’ Spock revealed, sounding almost anxious. To calm his nerves, Jim took hold of his hand loosely, pulling the duvet up over them both. ‘Jim, you are my t’hy’la.’

‘Yes, I thought you said something like that before,’ Jim said lightly. ‘What does it mean?’

‘The translation to Standard most often used is ‘friend, brother and lover’, but that is incredibly simplistic. The t’hy’la bond is ancient, and very rare, precious to my people. It is gifted to very few of us. A Vulcan who would deny such a bond is a fool. I always knew of our compatibility, but when we melded fully, I discovered exactly what you are to me.’

Astounded, Jim responded in kind as Spock held two fingers up, pressing them against his.

‘I have never believed in fate, Jim, but we have fulfilled all three conditions without even being aware of our connection. I would be honoured if you would bond with me.’

As a soft smile spread slowly over his face, Jim surveyed that serious expression, bursting with a love he could not contain. Cupping Spock’s cheek in his free hand, he leant in for a tender kiss, pulling back after a long, savouring moment.

‘You said we could bond during lovemaking, right?’

Mutely, Spock nodded, a fragile hope in his eyes.

‘Ready to go again?’

Jim was certain he saw another of those beatific smiles as Spock rolled atop him, and, moving against him as if the last few hours had merely been a warm-up, he silently wished T’Pring and Stonn a long and happy life together.

**Author's Note:**

> And they both lived happily ever after, without even a mention of Gol or the Nexus. Let me have that.
> 
> I really hope you guys enjoyed this fic - I maniacally wrote it within three days, but I loved doing it even so. Shout out to [plaidshirtjimkirk](http://plaidshirtjimkirk.tumblr.com/), the TOS queen, for unwittingly encouraging me to write something other than AOS, and also to all of you who read my fics, because you give me the confidence boost I need to post my stories. Please leave a comment if you enjoyed - I appreciate each and every one - and you can always catch me at my [tumblr](http://pastmydancingdays.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> Also, fans of ATTL: don't worry, the next chapter will be up on time!


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